married-couple-300x205Both my husband and I are divorced and remarried. Based on what the Bible says, are we living in sin?

Q: I just recently became a Christian. Both my husband and I are divorced and remarried. So, according to Matthew 5:31-32, are we living in sin—committing adultery? Somehow I find it hard to believe that God would want us to divorce each other and return to our previous spouses. And in any case, we can’t—they’re each remarried. I so want to please God … but this really concerns me

A: Over the years, there’s been a lot of controversy about how to interpret biblical teaching on the subject of divorce. Some seem to completely ignore the grace of God—and the wisdom and guidance of all the other Scriptures in the Bible—for an extreme form of legalism. Others seem to go to great lengths to find ways to dismiss what the Bible teaches, explaining it away as though it’s no longer relevant. Both approaches are dangerous.

Scripture is clear that God hates divorce, that He considers the marriage vow a sacred covenant. But there are certain circumstances in which divorce is permitted, and in which remarriage is not frowned upon (e.g., Deuteronomy 24:1-4Matthew 19:3-12). From what we can tell, a lot depends on the circumstances and the attitudes of those involved. The Scriptures seem to say those who take marriage lightly, divorcing for frivolous reasons (such as to pursue unbridled passion) will be held accountable.

Even so, there is a distinction between the way Scripture treats the sins of unbelievers and the sins of Christians. There’s a difference between sins we unknowingly committed before we met Christ (which can’t be undone and are covered by the blood of Jesus), and sins we knowingly commit after we become Christians (which are certainly still covered by the blood of Jesus, but may indicate a need for spiritual correction or discipline and accountability).

In your case, I think the answer is fairly straightforward. Two wrongs don’t make a right; a second divorce isn’t the answer. Christians may disagree about whether or not it is appropriate for a divorced believer to remarry—and under what circumstances. Each one of us has to seek God, study the Scriptures, and make our own peace with the issue. But once it’s done, sin or not, like many choices we’ve made in the past, it can’t be undone. All we can do is confess our part in the failures of the past, repent, and determine in our hearts to do everything we can to walk in obedience with God today. That includes making every effort to make your present marriage everything that God intended marriage to be—at its best, a beautiful reflection of the love Christ has for His church (Eph. 5:21-33)

Inspired by Christin Ditchfield

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enemey-within-kirkWe are all children of God, the Light, or whatever you might call the Creator. We are all created in God’s image and likeness and the spark of God’s love resides in us. All of us are expressions of God’s perfection and love and therefore, our problems are not of our essence, but rather are demonstrations of discontinuity with the perfection within us. So, how then, if we are perfect expressions of love, do we have so much crap happening to us in life? Let me tell you how I think this happens.

No one in his right mind would deliberately mess up their own life. We would not consciously marry the wrong person, make ourselves ill, embark on the wrong career to make our living, or do the thousands of incorrect things that cause unhappiness in life. Many sages say that the difficulties we face in life are from karmic balancing and that overcoming thorny situations are learning experiences we must go through to achieve our potential, whatever that is. I also believe that we do learn from our mistakes and we do get stronger by overcoming life’s obstacles. However, is it necessary to make the same mistakes time after time and make our lives virtual hells? I do not think so.

It is the enemy within us is that makes our hell. Our hell is being created within us albeit we don’t know it is happening. We may set out to accomplish great things, achieve lofty goals and then fail repeatedly even though we think we have it all figured out and know how to make it work. Everything turns sour and we don’t know what happened.

Why is it that nothing turns out right for us? Why is it that no matter how hard we try, with the best intentions, and it still doesn’t work out? Could it be that something inside us is at the source of our failure and misery and we are not just victims of circumstance? It could be even though we don’t like to think about it.

So, who or what is the enemy within that we don’t even know we have? This inside adversary that apparently seeks to destroy us, no matter what we consciously desire. I believe the enemy is the negative forcing functions within our subconscious mind we have acquired and we don’t know they are there. These negative forcing functions are negative energy generators, which install and support harmful programs within our subconscious computer and make us unhappy and sick. These energy generators are in our subconscious mind and they continuously sabotage our success. What are they and where do they come from?

“Bad things” that happened to us in: this life, past lives, harmful biological carryovers from our ancestors, unresolved internal conflicts or attached foreign energies cause negative forcing functions. These negative energy generators cause our unhappiness. Whenever we are unhappy, the flow of Chi life force energy flowing through our bodies is blocked and we can get sick in body and mind. When we are unhappy, we are negative and don’t enjoy life much… if at all. Unless we have a strong wish to continue living physically, our subconscious mind will not try very hard to keep us well. Unless we are positive about life, our subconscious mind will not provide the necessary energy essential to achieve our goals.

The will to physically live or die is at the root of our subconscious mind. Life or death is directly tied to the subconscious mind’s fundamental need to communicate and create. If this basic need is frustrated for any reason… the subconscious mind will kill the body. This seems like a dichotomy of the survival instinct and the death wish but it is merely a primitive reaction to the subconscious mind’s denied essential purpose.

The will to live drives the subconscious to heal the physical body when it is injured or sick, but the subconscious only does this because it wants to go on expressing its creative facility. If this creative expression is thwarted, and it is when we are unhappy, then the will to live reverses itself and becomes the will to die. If this happens, the subconscious may assertively destroy the body by making the person accident-prone or by declining to support the body against assaulting pathogens by turning off the immune system or having it attack the body as in Addison’s Disease where it destroys the adrenal cortex so that cortisol, which protects the body against stress, is not produced.

If you are unhappy and have no positive dreams for your life that is tantamount to rejecting life and you will die. Subconscious mind will see to it. It won’t keep you around if you really don’t want to be here. Subconscious Mind directly mirrors our will to live. If you don’t like life and are continuously unhappy, subconscious mind will see to it that you don’t have to live very long. A healthy body and mind reflect your High Self (our connection to divinity) and since health is supposed to be our natural condition … healing is, simply put, a restoring to our natural healthy condition.

The subconscious mind is an analog parallel processing supercomputer and like a computer, it has no ability for rational thinking or logical analysis. A computer operates on the programs within it and it simply does what the programming tells it to do. It cannot do otherwise. This programming determines our behavior, how we feel and how we respond to life. If there are harmful programs in the subconscious computer, put there by negative forcing functions, they will sabotage our quest for happiness, and we will be unhappy. If we are unhappy, we are in trouble. That is how it works.

I am not saying that we deliberately and consciously cause our problems. I am saying that the source of our problems is within us. The problem sources are the enemy. We have the responsibility to find this enemy and get rid of it if we want to positively change our lives. Since most of us cannot get outside of our consciousness to find and release these enemy programs, we must get outside help… but we must initiate it. There is no one else who will do it for us.

So, how do we rid ourselves of the programs that sabotage our lives and replace them with life enhancing programs that express the divinity within us? The answer is obvious. We must find the negative energy generators supporting the harmful programs… shut them off and replace the bad programs with good programs

The negative forcing functions can be found using hypnosis and their energy released. If foreign energies are attached, they must first be removed or you cannot get to the person’s own problem sources. After you release all the negative forcing functions, the body’s energy field is normalized and physical illness is healed by the restored Chi flow to the body’s cell communities.

Once the negative forcing functions are gone, they can no longer support the harmful programs they created in your subconscious computer and therefore new positive programs can be installed and imbedded under hypnosis thereby changing behavior and response to life positively. This is permanent healing.

You are here on this earth to experience a wonderful life of growth. You have as much right to happiness, joy, love and prosperity as any other person in the world. You are a very important and vital part of God’s creation and you are here because you are very special. You came from the same Creator that every other person came from, and you are here for a purpose. You can find your purpose by simply discovering what you love to do.

You don’t need to measure up to anyone else’s expectations of you. You are not on this earth for the purpose of being what someone else expects you to be… you are you and you are unique…there is no one else just like you. You are fulfilling the Creator’s plan and purpose in your own individual way. You do not owe it to any other person or institution to be what they think you should be. Your main purpose is to be what you are… what you want to be.

To do this does not require that you be tormented and miserable. Life’s learning experiences can be hard, but once you learn them, go on with your life in a positive and fulfilling way. You do not need to make the same mistakes repeatedly.

The enemy can be defeated if you know how to fight. Get rid of the bad stuff within and let your light shine!

Inspired by Charles Wm. Skillas, PhD, BCH, FNGH, CI, MCCHt

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article-2336607-02C64D660000044D-486_634x536Do you know your life is not your own?

Do you realize your purpose for life in the body of Christ is to serve others more than yourself?

When you decided to live for Christ, you decided to become a servant of His and serve the needs of others around you and those in whom you come in contact with

But, Do We Do This???

Could Have, Should Have, but Didn’t…

Many of us can probably think of scenarios where we could have helped someone, but chose not to because either we were too busy, in a hurry, too stingy, to selfish or didn’t want to help because of the other persons appearance or smell.  Or maybe, we felt they can get a job just like you or there’s always the welfare system, food banks, shelters, etc.

Helping others shouldn’t be a debate within our minds on when, how, who and what we can do, but a loving conviction from within our hearts to do something for someone in the name of Jesus

So, in my conclusion; the next time you are compelled to help someone, but decide not to, think about what Jesus did for so many as He walked among us and most importantly, think about the many occasions when He blessed you when He shouldn’t have, but did…

Inspired by Laraine Turner

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Generally speaking, if your divorce occurred prior to your conversion, then that divorce is just a part of your past sinful life which in Christ is done away with, and it is irrelevant now. So far as your liberty to marry another believer is concerned, the wise pastor will not even consider your previous marriage and divorce. Any divorce, or ten of them, which took place when one was lost in sin is a dead issue, being part of the life of sin which is now repented of and washed away by the blood of Christ, never to be remembered against you again. Paul wrote (KJV), “If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature. Old things are passed away. Behold, ALL THINGS are become new.” When you were baptized with the Spirit into Christ, every part of your old life of sin was purged from your record by the precious blood of Christ.

Some will teach you that in Christ, all things are become new except your marital history. However, those people’s unwillingness to forgive a new convert’s previous marriage(s) is not a reflection of God’s mind. When a sinner comes to Jesus, he is given a new life – including a new past! Failures of the past are gone, completely and forever. Therefore, a sinner who had been washed from sin by the blood of Christ is free and is worthy to marry in the kingdom of God if he so desires.

This is why, even if you married and divorced a dozen times before being converted to Christ, you do not actually belong in the category of “divorced”, for you are indeed a “new creature”, with no error of the past on your record to obstruct your pursuit of a quiet and peaceable life in Christ – and with no marriage or divorce on your record in heaven!

It is tragic for some that certain men in authority among the saints think as they do about marriage and divorce. Consider the following scenario, which is representative of the way some ministers deal with the marital histories of new converts:

Some ministers would cheerfully allow a person to marry who lived a life of fornication before coming to Christ – if that person, while a sinner, had not married any of his fornication partners. On the other hand, a person who, while a sinner, had resisted fornication, and then married and divorced, would be forbidden to remarry. Do you see what an unjust judgment this is? The unbridled lust of one sinner is rewarded, while the other sinner’s effort to do right by marrying is punished.

This is not the way of the Lord.

In the early 1980′s, near my hometown there lived a happy young couple with four children who were convicted of their sins and converted as members of an “Apostolic” congregation. Not long after they were both born again, the pastor learned that she had been married previously while still a sinner. He informed them that they were living in adultery because she had a living husband and that they must separate. The young man, wanting to please God, moved onto a farm where he worked as a laborer, but it was a very difficult arrangement for everyone involved, parents and children.

The couple continued to attend the Apostolic church services which were also attending by a young man named John who had recently read a copy of this book. Upon learning the truth about marriage and divorce in the Kingdom of God, John went to visit Nate and told him that him and Latasha (not their real names) were not required to separate. Surprisingly, Nate argued against what John told him thinking that he was defending the faith of Christ. Seeing that he could not help Nate, John dropped the subject.

Latasha had to depend on public welfare, and Nate moved to New Jersey where he had relatives and where he hoped to find a job that would

enable him to take better care of his family. While in New Jersey, Nate began attending meetings with another Pentecostal group. There he was taught that he and Latasha were not required to separate. Then Nate realized that Brother John had told him the truth, and not long afterwards, he returned to North Carolina to reunite with Latasha and the whole family then moved back to New Jersey to a happily married life.

Nate and Latasha’s story, thankfully, had a happy ending. But that is not often the case.

Inspired By John David Clark, Sr.

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There is no question that children who grow up in fatherless homes have a much greater risk of major challenges in life than those who grow up with a father at home. These statistics are alarming and should give any father pause.

Incarceration Rates. “Young men who grow up in homes without fathers are twice as likely to end up in jail as those who come from traditional two-parent families…those boys whose fathers were absent from the household had double the odds of being incarcerated — even when other factors such as race, income, parent education and urban residence were held constant.” (Cynthia Harper of the University of Pennsylvania and Sara S. McLanahan of Princeton University cited in “Father Absence and Youth Incarceration.”

Suicide. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes

Behavioral Disorders. 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes

High School Dropouts. 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes

Educational Attainment. Kids living in single-parent homes or in step-families report lower educational expectations on the part of their parents, less parental monitoring of school work, and less overall social supervision than children from intact families.

Juvenile Detention Rates. 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes

Confused Identities. Boys who grow up in father-absent homes are more likely that those in father-present homes to have trouble establishing appropriate sex roles and gender identity.

Aggression. In a longitudinal study of 1,197 fourth-grade students, researchers observed “greater levels of aggression in boys from mother-only households than from boys in mother-father households.”

Achievement. Children from low-income, two-parent families outperform students from high-income, single-parent homes. Almost twice as many high achievers come from two-parent homes as one-parent homes.

Delinquency. Only 13 percent of juvenile delinquents come from families in which the biological mother and father are married to each other. By contract, 33 percent have parents who are either divorced or separated and 44 percent have parents who were never married.

Criminal Activity. The likelihood that a young male will engage in criminal activity doubles if he is raised without a father and triples if he lives in a neighborhood with a high concentration of single-parent families.

A Must See Film by Gordon Pictures

without a father


Joshua Taylor and Christopher Bauman are two young boys from separate worlds whose lives are thrust together and forever altered in an unexpected tragedy. As Lucille Bauman raises the boys, major problems arise in the family. A devastating decision is made that changes the course of the family forever. Years later, torn apart by anger, bitterness, and resentment, Joshua and Christoopher begin seeking to fill the empty, fatherless voids in their unfulfilled lives. Can reconciliation restore this family now? Or will it be too late?

Video Clip

Article by Sister Laraine and

Thank you for visiting our blog.  We pray the information listed has educated you on the effects of one parent homes without a father.  We pray families will work together to provide a nurturing environment for their children.  If you and your spouse can’t get along; please at least stay positive in the lives of your children. God bless you!

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Man watching his son making a sand castle at the beachI’m often asked about raising six kids, and being productive and achieving goals and changing habits in the midst of raising so many kids. But here’s the thing: I do all the other stuff, the productivity stuff, because of my kids.

They, and my wife, are my reason for being.

It is my lifelong goal to be the best dad possible, and while there are many ways I can still improve, I think I’m a pretty great dad already, when I sit back and think about it. I know there are some readers who are just starting out in their careers as dads, and this post is for you.

How can you be a great dad? As always, my list of tips:

  1. Put their interests first, always. Do you enjoy drinking or smoking? Guess what — it’s not good for them, and you’re setting an example with everything you do. I quit smoking about 18 months ago not for my sake, but for my kids. Now, it is still important to take care of yourself (otherwise you can’t take care of them), but you should still have them in mind.
  2. Protect them. As a dad, one of your main roles is protector. There are many ways you need to do this. Safety is one: child-proof your home, teach them good safety habits, set a good example by using your seatbelt, make sure they use a car seat if below a certain age & weight, etc. But financial protection is also important: have life insurance, car insurance, an emergency fund, a will.
  3. Spend your spare time with them. When we get home from work, often we’re tired and just want to relax. But this is the only time we have with them during the weekdays, often, and you shouldn’t waste it. Take this time to find out about their day, lay on the couch with them. On weekends, devote as much time as possible to them. While work may be your passion, it won’t be long before they’re grown and no longer want to spend time with you. Take advantage of these years. The thing kids want most from their dads is their time.
  4. Give them hugs. Dads shouldn’t be afraid to show affection. Kids need physical contact, and not just from their moms. Snuggle with them, hug them, love them.
  5. Play with them. Go outside and play sports. Do a treasure hunt. Have a pillow fight. Play Transformers or Pokemon with them. Don’t just watch TV. Show them how to have fun. See 100 Ways to Have Fun with Your Kids for Free or Cheap.
  6. Do the “mom” stuff. Things that are traditionally considered “mom” duties are not just for moms anymore — changing diapers, feeding, bathing, rocking them to sleep in the middle of the night. Dads should help out as much as they can, sharing these types of duties equally if possible. And in fact, if you’re a dad of a baby, this is the perfect time to bond with your child. You should leap at the chance to do these things, because that’s how you start a life-long close relationship with your child.
  7. Read to them. This is one of the most important things you can do for your child. First of all, it’s so much fun. Kids books are really cool, and it’s great when you can share something this wonderful with your child. Second, you are teaching them one of the most fundamentally important skills (reading) that will pay off dividends for life. And third, you are spending time with them, you’re sitting or lying close together, and you are enjoying each other’s company. See the Best All-Time Children’s Books.
  8. Stand by mom. Don’t contradict their mother in front of them, don’t fight with her in front of them, and most definitely don’t ever abuse her. How you treat their mother affects their self-esteem, and the way they will treat themselves and women when they grow up. Be kind and respectful and loving of their mother. And always work as a team — never contradicting statements of the other.
  9. Teach them self-esteem. Maybe this should be No. 1. Well, these aren’t in any order, but this is one of the most important points. There is nothing you can do that is better than giving them high self-esteem. How do you do this? A million ways, but mainly by showing them (not telling them) that you value them, by spending time with them, by talking and listening to them, by praising things they do, by teaching them (not telling them) how to be competent. Praise and encourage, don’t reprimand and discourage.
  10. Teach them about finances. This is a point often missed in articles about dadhood. You might not need to teach your 1-year-old about index funds or portfolio diversity, but from an early age, you can teach them the value of money, how to save money to reach a goal, and later, how earn money and how to manage money properly. You don’t want your child to go into the world knowing as little as you did, do you?
  11. Be good to yourself. You shouldn’t give up your entire life when you become a dad. You need to take care of yourself, give yourself some alone time, and some time with your buddies, in order to be a great dad when you’re with your kids. Also take care of your health — eat healthy, exercise — because 1) you can’t take care of your kids if you’re sickly, 2) you are teaching your kids how to be healthy for life, and 3) you want to enjoy those grandkids someday.
  12. Be good to the mom. This isn’t the same as No. 8 — you should be good to their mom even when they’re not looking. Take her to dinner, give her a massage, do chores around the house for her, give her some time alone and babysit while she goes out, show affection to her, give her little surprises. Because when mom’s happy, the kids are happy. And dad will be happy too!

Inspired by Leo Babauta

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ReproachI still remember the first time I suspected that, contrary to my early conceits, I might actually be a terrible father. When our oldest child was 2, I was clipping her fingernails and snipped her pinkie instead of the nail. As I saw the pinpoint of blood ooze from her tiny fingertip, I made a strange wailing sound, snatched her up, and ran her to the bathroom. I apologized profusely as I wrapped her finger in a complex set of bandages that effectively quadrupled the size of her pinkie. (Any parent will tell you that, if there’s anything more difficult than clipping the nails of a toddler, it’s trying to find a bandage that will fit her fingertip.)

She returned my apologies with a look of confusion. Truthfully, I don’t think she was aware that anything was wrong.

As a young man, I had imagined myself ideal father material, mainly because I loved holding cute babies at church and had served as a youth pastor for three years. So I was ready. Then my wife and I had our first child, and it became clear to me that I was anything but.

Since the finger-clipping mishap, I have doubted my parenting skills on several occasions. There were the times I should have been paying attention to my four children, but was preoccupied with something of profound importance, like checking my Facebook news feed for the tenth time that day. I would hear the sound of Thunk, thunk, thunk, THUNK, followed by crying, which every bad parent knows is the sound of your kid tumbling down the stairs, her head hitting each and every step along the way. There were the times when I got upset at my children for being cranky, disobedient, or otherwise unpleasant, and tried to browbeat them into having a better attitude instead of checking to see whether they had a fever of 103. They almost always did.

What was more revealing than my technical incompetency was my attitude, which could have been described charitably as “impatient” but was often something closer to “mean spirited.” Instead of correcting my children, I criticized. Instead of disciplining, I punished. I treated them as if they were short adults, not little children who were still learning. And each time I acted that way, I became more convinced that I was indeed a terrible dad. To this day, I don’t think that assessment is altogether wrong.

Where I was wrong was in assuming that I had to remain that way.

Born Perfect?

I had always been of the opinion that the best fathers were born as such. Whether through some function of genetics, upbringing, or a combination of the two, fatherhood was a skill that a man either possessed from the start or did not. And if a man did not have that gift, there was no hope of sizable growth, only marginal adjustment.

I felt this way for several reasons. First, we increasingly discover that so many aspects of our lives are dictated by genetics: our features, our predispositions to certain diseases, even elements of our personalities. It is not difficult to imagine that parenting skills might function in the same way. Second, when it comes to careers—which for men are often cast as the central feature of identity—there is a strong emphasis on aptitude: we should pursue careers for which we possess an intrinsic skill. It’s little wonder that men take that mentality and apply it to their parenting as well.

The belief was further reinforced whenever I observed a father in action at the playground or in the school hallway. I would watch these men as they communicated with their children, keeping their emotions in check and their smartphones in their pockets, unfazed amid the most epic of toddler meltdowns. And like a man who has just watched someone slam dunk while he has trouble dribbling, I concluded that these fathers must have been born with something that I lacked from the beginning. Nothing else could adequately explain the yawning gulf between us.

Inspired by Peter Chin contributing writer for Christianity Today

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