“I’ve Been Seeking God, but Can’t Seem to Find Him”


I occasionally hear from people who say that “seek and ye shall find” didn’t work for them. They explain that they prayed, read the Bible, researched, asked Jesus to help them, opened their hearts and minds, etc. but didn’t end up any closer to belief.

I sincerely, truly tried. I prayed. I asked others to pray for me. I sought humility. I went on not only a cynicism fast, but a complete media fasts more than once (no internet, no radio, no tv, no reading, no writing). I cried myself to sleep on more than one occasion, begging God to help me. I spoke to priests. I blogged. I attended Mass several days a week. I signed up for RCIA. I went to adoration. I read books. I went on retreat at a monastery…

I’m at the point now where I don’t even believe that God, if God exists, has any interaction with humans at all, and to me the question of God has become irrelevant, let alone Christianity. I assure you, it is not a place I wanted to end up, but I am coming to terms with it.

Reaching out to Jesus feels like hearing that some guy likes you and wants to get to know you, but never calls. You sit by the phone, wondering what you did wrong.

After reading this; I thought this would be a good subject to bring up and share the thoughts of others on this post…

Nic (Not Perfect) says…

Stop trying so hard. I know it’s cliched but it’s so true. Stop looking and start living your life with a mere openness to God. Give love and kindness freely and abundantly. Pray prayers of thanksgiving: be thankful for the flower in the crack of the sidewalk, be thankful for the rains that nourish the earth. God IS there, but we can’t command him to show up in exactly the ways we expect, and maybe, sometimes we’re so focused on the rules, regulations and steps we aren’t open to the experience

Marie says…

“We love Him because He first loved us.”

Do you love Him? If you do, it is because He loves you.

Don’t chase a certain presupposed feeling you are supposed to have, imagining some unknown ecstatic experience. God is sovereign.

Rest in His sovereignty

Susab says…


If you know in your heart that you are a sinner and that only Christ can forgive you and if you have asked Him to forgive you, and to take control of your life, then you are a Christian. You will, however, be unique Christian with your own journey. My advice would be to focus on just loving God and getting to know Him, much like you would a new friend. Try to view going to mass and adoration as an opportunity to get to know this new someone, not as an experiment to see if they exist

Notjustlaura says…

What made everything come together for me was being willing to believe. My sticking point was the Real Presence in the Eucharist. I just couldn’t get my head round it, let alone believe it. Eventually I told God that I was willing to believe it if it was true but that He’d have to do something because I couldn’t create a belief myself – believe me, I’d tried!

Then I went on to behave ‘as if’ I believed. And an indefinable something inside of me changed and, gradually, I came to believe.

Anonymous says…

Keep seeking. The One you are searching for is worth it. It’s completely normal to be weary and discouraged sometimes – but keep trying. When He comes, you’ll forget all your difficulties and even be grateful for your long longing.


Carl says… 

God is there but neither I nor anyone can really explain why He has chosen not to make Himself present to you at this time. No matter what may have happened in your efforts to find faith so far, He does know you, love you and wants you to continue seeking Him. If you continue to simply seek the truth, you will find Him. That is His promise.

Anonymous says…

Been there, done that. I remember a very low period in my life when everything was wrong, I prayed, and listened, prayed and listened. Nothing. Then my parish practically abandoned me in my time of need. (I am a cradle catholic) Then the priest pedophile scandle broke. I tried another church (and denomination) and I felt like every Sunday I was sitting thru a speech debate or a concert. Did not hear anything from God. I quit going to church all together for about 5 years. Then out of the blue I felt a tugging or a inner voice tell me to look again. This was a long process that I won’t go thru all the details but now I have come to believe that maybe that voice was there all the time but I was too worked up in my own problems to hear it.


George @ Convert Journal says…

Praying to God is communicating with Him. I believe He hears us each and every time without fail.

We are not always so good at hearing His reply! Sometimes we “hear” God’s reply when we pray for someone sick and they are healed. Sometimes we “hear” God’s reply when a thought pops into our head (recognizing these “thoughts” as God speaking to us can take some practice of discernment).

Sometimes we can detect no direct reply but that does not mean God did not hear us. His reply is in His time or perhaps His plan is beyond what we can understand.

We must trust, not test, Him. Like any skill, hearing God through prayer is something that improves with practice.


Julia says…

I agree with Nic that sometimes there is such a thing as being too absorbed in trying to feel God. God is a relationship, God is about giving yourself to others. So I would suggest volunteering, taking the extra step to help others, being more attentive to others.

When I do this, I often realize two things. One is the mysterious workings of God (which I won’t be able to explain coherently here). The other is how I fall short. When I try to imitate Jesus, I become painfully aware of how hard it is. Then his love and mercy become a little more real. Real not only because I am a sinner but because the more we try to reach for perfection, the more sensitive we are to it, and the more easily we will recognize Christ.

Kathleen@so much to say, so little time says…

I would say two things:

1. I find that sometimes when I’m desperately seeking Presence, I need to shut up and Be Still. I get in my own way.

2. I think in our society we get caught up in emotion, and without that “feeling” of faith, we think we have none. But emotion is fleeting. I remember going to confession once as a child saying, “I don’t FEEL anything.” The priest said something very wise. He said that if I see someone who needs a coat, and FEEL bad for them, that doesn’t make them warm. A better act of faith, he said, would be to give them a coat, whether I FELT anything about it or not.


Tim Terhune says…

I would first ask:

“what is it you are looking for?”

this may help you understand what it is they expect and what their notion of God is. It may be that they are looking for a “god” of that doesn’t exist (that is, a “god” of their own making)

BettyDuffy says…

Sometimes believers receive consolation, or a “feeling” of God’s presence–but they are not mandatory for Christian practice. And practicing Christianity does not absolve us from doubt. Doubts persist to the grave. The bottom line is that Christianity is something that one “does.” Faith, or certainty in God and Christ, is a gift that often begins when a person commits to going through the motions. Ask for it: “I want to believe, help my unbelief.”

Anonymous says…

I’m sorry if I got the wrong impression, but from the comments it sounded that the individuals were looking for the big “bang”! They seem to be looking for that mystical experience which would tell you without a doubt that there is a God. While such things do happen, it is something which should not be wished for. “To those who much is given, much will be expected…” Do they really want to join Christ in the suffering of his passion? Expect to suffer if you encounter God mystically.

Instead, it is in the little things that they should look for God. Ask for God’s guidance everyday and then you’ll see him, in a friend, a stranger, a stone, a beautiful blue sky

How would you respond to this question?

Share your thoughts with us below

Article re-blogged from Hi, I’m Jen

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3 thoughts on ““I’ve Been Seeking God, but Can’t Seem to Find Him”

  1. Well so many heartfelt answers and I agree with probably all of them.

    I think you’re that specially chosen one for a unique cause to serve God.

    You see God’s ways are not ours. He is keeping what you’re asking for from you for some time. He wants to give you His Best.

    Are you truly being still to hear His voice?

    Remove yourself from the noise again and read His word from a book that you can understand.

    In fact, my story is like Joel Osteen and his dad. The spirit led us within intervention from churches and even other believers. He has something extraordinary for you. My email is on the contact button if you desire to talk about what you’re going through. I’ve been doing spiritual life coaching for sometime for God’s Glory. Probono for select people that He directs my way.

    Much love, light and blessings, Emma

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