Wanting to Die…

kill me

God please kill me! Take my life and let me die!

Do you ever wish God would simply kill you? Do you sometimes feel so tired of this life that you wish God would end your life, or that perhaps you wish you were never born? If so, you aren’t alone.

Many people in the world go through periods where they crave death. This life can be so difficult. Losing a loved one, experiencing career trouble,  financial loss, relationship problems, health issues, and more can make you feel as if you want to die. Life can sometimes seem as if it has nothing more to offer us, and that our only hope of peace is to exit this corrupt world.

God Please Kill Me–People In the Bible Who Wanted to Die

It may surprise you to learn that some of the biggest “Bible greats” also had moments where they wished death upon themselves. After Moses risked his life to free the Israelites from Egypt, they all began grumbling and whining against him for some meat. This bothered Moses so badly that he said to God:

Where can I get meat for all these people? They keep wailing to me, ‘Give us meat to eat!’I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. If this is how you intend to treat me, just go ahead and kill me. Do me a favor and spare me this misery!”

-Numbers 11:13-15

In the book of Job, we see that after Job is stripped of his health, family, and wealth– he laments and curses the day he was born:

Why died I not from the womb? why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the belly?

–Job 3:11

And Elijah, after embarking on a mission from God, finds himself so depressed that he utters:

Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword.  So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the Gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.”
Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there,  while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die.

“I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.”

1 Kings 19:1-4

And even Jonah, after being swallowed by a great fish for 3 days, and preaching to the city of Ninevah, became frustrated that the city repented and was able to avoid God’s wrath, he wishes death. The story reads:

Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. Then the LORD God provided a leafy plant and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the plant. But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the plant so that it withered. When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah’s head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, “It would be better for me to die than to live.”

But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?”

“It is,” he said. “And I’m so angry I wish I were dead.”

But the LORD said, “You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?”
–Jonah 4:5-11

Wanting to Die and Leave This World

Just from those Bible verses alone, it is quite easy to see that even the greatest prophets in the Bible had moments of despair. They all had moments when they threw up their hands and said, “God please kill me! Take my life and let me die now. I’m done with this pitiful life and this corrupt world. I have no reason to live!”

I think it is a natural human response that when life is overwhelming, we want to give up. We want to press an “exit” button and simply shut down, and terminate our lives. And when we turn on the news and see children molested, women raped, people murdered and chopped into pieces, alleged criminals avoiding jail, haters of God and immoral acts, and more–this world can look pretty hopeless and disgusting.

But we are all here for a purpose, and all things will eventually play into God’s sovereign plan. Just as God had purposed the men above, he has also purposed you in this life. Sure, Moses had a moment where he wished death, but he marched on to fulfill God’s plan for his life, and is now considered one of the greatest Bible prophets of the old Testament.

Job lost his health, wealth, and family, but was blessed by God and eventually got double of everything he lost previously (except for his kids, because he will be with them in heaven). Elijah may have had his moments of despair, but he eventually rides into the heavens in a whirlwind on a chariot of fire and is referenced as one of the great prophets. And Jonah, despite wanting to die after going through so much effort, was able to save a city of over 120,000 with his preaching.

Do You Wish God Would Simply Kill You Too?

Yes, life gets tough. I have found myself praying for God to kill me as well at some of the low points of my life (and trust me–I’ve had plenty of them). But I am always glad He didn’t listen. I imagine that the prophets above were also glad God didn’t listen, as they would have never experienced a greater reward later had they taken an early exit.

When you feel as if you want to die, remember that great men (and women) have felt the same way you have. People who went on to change the world felt exactly like you at times.

Just like Job, you may lose it all one day–your health, your wealth, and even loved ones. But don’t give up–one day you may have double. Like Joseph, you could be imprisoned in a strange land one day as a slave, and sitting as second in command to a powerful nation the next.  You may be sent out of Egypt as a murderer on the run like Moses, and leading a nation to freedom years later.

In all things, never forget that God has a divine plan, and we are all partakers in His sovereign ways. And when the ways of this world get you down, look up to the risen Christ and know that God always keeps His promises, and that one day it will all be worth it–just as it was for the men listed above. Whether in this world or the next, God will bless His children.

–God bless

Article by B. Page

Image by Shutterstock

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